Merry Christmas and Thank You for Reading All My Drivel
I just want to give you a long, self-absorbed brief recap of my week and say thank you to everyone who reads or who has ever read my blog and wish you all a very Merry Christmas. First, here’s what I...
View ArticleI Had an Asthma Attack and OD’d on Mario-Kart this Week
Post-Merry Christmas, peeps! I hope Santa was good to you this year. He was pretty good to me. I got kitchen gadgets, Crest White Strips and Wii Just Dance. So, basically, Santa was telling me I...
View ArticleI Attract Toothless Men and Not-So-Smart People, Apparently
Yo, dawgs, WHAT UP?! W-to the-H-to the-A-to the-T-to the-I-to the-S-to the-U-to the-P-to the-dumb. Based on that first line I wrote, you’re probably wondering how I could possibly attract people...
View ArticleI Need Help Beating the Crap Out of Rahm Emanuel’s Boo-tay
Yo, people, how’s it hangin’? My week’s been hangin’ kind of crookedly. Busy. Lazy. Procrastinating. I’m busy about the stuff I don’t need to do and lazy about the stuff I need to do, which I believe...
View ArticleA Tea Party Is the Best Place for a Fart Joke
What up, peeps? I’ve had a rough week with real-life stuff. IEP meetings at school, getting the house ready to move, bleh. When I’m stressed out my tweeting suffers. I find that I tweet best when...
View ArticleIn My Downtime I Watch Jimmy Fallon on Youtube until I Craugh
Hey, how’s it goin’? This week is kind of crazy busy for me with appointments and crap, but last week was me just sitting around the house twiddling my thumbs. Haha! That’s funny. Mom’s don’t ever...
View ArticleDon’t Give Your Kid a Whoopee Cushion…or Any Other Fart Noise-Making Device...
I love doing these weekly updates because I get to share my best stuff with you. I had a week of a lot of mediocre and meh tweets, so I just share the most popular, so you people who don’t follow me...
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