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A Tea Party Is the Best Place for a Fart Joke

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What up, peeps? I’ve had a rough week with real-life stuff. IEP meetings at school, getting the house ready to move, bleh. When I’m stressed out my tweeting suffers. I find that I tweet best when I’m relaxed…lazy…eating candy bars – those moments produce the funniest tweets. When I’m stressed, I can only think tasks, so I start digging up old tweets from a year ago and tweet them like they’re new (confession #1) or my tweets are ultra-mediocre, which is a few levels below the mediocre I strive for. Here’s how my week went…

Last Tuesday I was on Chicago Parent talking about the Great Backyard Bird Count and how I like to participate in it every year and look forward to it. Confession #2: After all the hype and trying to get everyone to do it  I ended up not doing it because I had too many other things going on. Plus, Steve didn’t put the bird seed out, so how in the heck was I supposed to watch birds when they had nothing to eat. So I blame him.

Or I can blame this…

This real-life crap’s like non-stop.

I took my daughter to her speech class.

 

I kind of bragged.

Obviously, I got it goin’ on, people. On Wednesday we had our IEP meeting at the school for one of our sons. Hated it.

Confession #3: That was my husband’s joke and I stole it and tweeted it. He doesn’t even think to tweet these gems. On Thursday I had some good conversations with my kids.

This tweet made it into the Huffington Post-Parent’s list of best tweets for the week. Woo-hoo! For Finish the Sentence Friday, I wrote about what prompted this tweet…

in I Embarrassed Myself Over a Fork.

I’ve been in this crazy habit the last two weeks where I’m getting up between 4 and 4:30 everyday. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. So it’s no surprise that I tweeted this.

My job as a mom was made complete after this block.

  On Saturday I went to my friend, Amy’s annual Valentine tea party.

I recycled that tweet from last year when I went to her tea party. I thought it was funny. And no, I didn’t tell any fart jokes. Although I did let a few fly. On Sunday we had comedian Michael, Jr. at our church doing his stand-up. He’s been on the Tonight Show and Jimmy Kimmel, and a bunch of other places. He’s hilarious. I love my church because they let a comedian do his stand-up in the middle of church. In spite of seeing a comedian, I still had a busy and stressful day. And then this happened.

 

By Monday I still couldn’t shake the stress.  

But, I still got out a post on my “gardening with humor” blog. It’s easy for me to write a blog post about things I’m passionate about, so this one was a quickie. Worst Worm Farmer EVER.

I’m still feeling a little guilty over my worms. I’m encouraged though because I was invited to join a worm farm group on Facebook and I was the 1500th member. So there’s hope for me.

Then I was nominated for a Liebster Award by Teresa at Snapshots of a Life. I’ve done a lot of these Liebster Awards (chain letters) so I’m going to obliterate the rules and answer the questions that Teresa had to answer instead of the ones she gave me because I didn’t pay attention to her instructions. And I’m not going to nominate anyone because I’m selfish (or you could say because I’m nice, whatever). If you feel like it, copy and paste with your answers into the comments. I want to read them.

1. Beach or mountains? Both.
2. Car of SUV? Um…minivan. Kids.
3. Back in the day before reality TV took over…MTV or VH-1? Both. A lot of both.
4. Diamonds or pearls? Both? Neither? I don’t know, I don’t really wear jewelry.
5. Bagel or doughnut?  Both!
6. Shower or bath? BOTH!
7. Jean cut-offs or denim skirt?  cut-offs, duh, cuz lazy, and crossing your legs when you sit down is work with a capital W.
8. Colonial or ranch? What? I’ve never heard of Colonial dressing. I don’t even know what this means. I use balsamic vinegar and oil.
9. CDs or radio? MP3s, hello, was this questionnaire written in 1996?
10. Riding boots or ankle boots? Um…snow boots, again hello? I live in Chicago.
11. Beer or wine? Beer is disgusting (I just made enemies). Wine is okay. I used to like Bailey’s & Cream or Fuzzy Navels. That sweet stuff rocks.

That questionnaire made me feel a little bit better. Maybe I’ll get some lazy time to tweet today.

How’s your week going? Stressed? Overwhelmed? Lazy? Underwhelmed? Or answer the questions above in the comments.

The post A Tea Party Is the Best Place for a Fart Joke appeared first on Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine.


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